Barbie in a straight jacket...it only seemed appropriate.

I’m alive!!!

It’s been so long since my last post and I am long overdue.  I knew it was time to get crackin when my parents finally noticed my last post about my farting confessions.  I had forgotten that this was the post welcoming people to my blog for the past 2 months.  I recently learned that my father had been passing along my website to some of his colleagues to encourage them to seek my advice for health and wellness.  Awesome.

After I fell behind from blogging for a few weeks, it somehow became increasingly more difficult to write. I started to over-analyze my own thoughts instead of just letting them spill out of my brain like I used to. I fell into a horrible habit of not writing because I felt my thoughts (which turn into blog posts) weren’t perfect.

I have recently started a class in school called “The Psychology of Disease” which is all about the mind-body connection. Our first assignment is to write a paper on our addictions. Addictions? ? Aside from my addictions to pastured bacon, CrossFit, anything coconut, coffee, Hawaii, Lululemon and 90210, I’m totally addiction free! I say no to crack! This was my initial thought until I started to read the survey and reading that came along with our assignment. In the reading, it outlined various addictions including “Addiction to Success”, “Addiction to Appearance”, “Addiction to Perfection” and MANY more. As I started to read the corresponding descriptions I realized that I could put a check mark beside many of them. It was the “Addiction to Perfection” that resonated so much with me….I realized this was what was stopping me from doing so many things, including updating this blog. I also realized that it was half the reason why I beat myself up so much for different things (the other half reason falls into the other addictions).

I did not want to post anything unless it was PERFECT. The pictures for my recipes aren’t perfect (aka: they look like they were taken with a disposable camera) so I haven’t posted a recipe. I’m still holding back from launching my Haute Life website because it is not perfect. I’m holding off on getting professional shots taken because I feel like I don’t look perfect enough yet. And the list goes on….I never realized how shackled I was to this notion of perfection. I knew I was a “Perfectionist”, but I didn’t realize it was an addiction that prevented me from getting down to biz-ness. I have also come to realize that this addiction to perfection can also be the result of a fear of failure.

What is perfection anyways? Sure it makes sense if you’re taking a test or getting marked on something….or if you’re a heart surgeon or physicist. Perfection matters in these circumstances. But what is perfection outside of these circumstances? When I started to think about it, I realized it is simply a fantasy or made-up ideal that we envision in our heads. If the benchmark for your own idea of perfection is in your own head, then why does it even matter?? If there is no concrete measurement of perfection in the task you are doing, then you will never achieve your desired result of perfection. It is this vicious cycle that can hold you back from doing so many things.

When it comes to nutrition and lifestyle, perfection can hold you back. I have seen many people hold back on making changes because everything in their life isn’t perfect…ie: I’m not going to eat clean because it’s Christmas and I can’t be perfect so I might as well just crack out on bad food for the entire 2 weeks. Or at the gym when I see people not wanting to try something because they might not be the strongest or fastest.  It is these types of excuses that indicate an addiction to perfection and a fear of failure.

I have seen this addiction to perfection lead to body image issues and unhappiness. When I meet people (usually women) who have solid bodies yet they complain about their 1 inch of cellulite because they are NOT PERFECT. What the hell is perfect when it comes to body image anyways?? It doesn’t exist…it is a made up ideal in your head that you will never achieve. (I could go on but that’s a whole other post).

Well, screw this!

I am vowing to release myself of my addiction to perfection. I will not let it hold me back from achieving the things I want to achieve anymore. Awareness of this addiction is the first step to getting over it, so I’ve passed phase 1.

It is time that we all break our addiction to perfection.  Start being happy with your best effort and don’t  over-analyze the situation.  Be proud if you get a B- instead of an A+.  You are the only one judging yourself in the end because no one else holds your idea of perfection except for you.

And for the record, I wrote this post in 20 minutes, so “Brittany’s back bitches!*”

*this is in reference to Brittany’s comeback performance at the MTV awards a couple years ago….I realize she actually said “It’s Brittany Bitch,” but this other version sounded so much better with this post.